If you want to go on a shroom trip without the drugs and and tap into your inner carnie, then I have the place for you: Australia. Residing near the edge of the world, this place has everything. Extraterrestrials. Storms. Nearly naked people. Thongs… but not the type you’re thinking of. There’s so much to do here that you’d never get bored. I know I wouldn’t. Why’s that? Here’s why…
1. Sorry, comic lovers…..So this is how Batman dies.
2. Python clean up needed in aisle five…..Again, Python clean up needed in aisle five.
3. Everybody loves a good cookout…even non-humans.
4. I sense a coming storm. It’s also the only thing I can see for miles and miles.
5. You can get yourself a nice cold Coke and a pair of thongs from a vending machine.
6. If you live in a small studio apartment, use the outside sidewalk as your stovetop.
7. The people might be crazy but at least they know that exercise is healthy.
8. At least the bad drivers have a really good excuse on why they didn’t see that car in front of them before rear ending it.
9. Unlike in Russia, in Australia there are times to say, AWE.
10. If animals could talk I’m sure this guy would ask everyone he meets, “Yo bro, do you lift?”
What’s more beautiful than seeing a giant snake eat an even larger bat-beast thing? It’s the circle of life. Maybe next time Simba will be in the middle of the commotion while carnivorous koalas devour him. Too much? There’s no such thing in Australia so you’ll just have to embrace that.
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